At some point on almost every day, the Sister with smiling eyes and a wide grin, Jaiya Devi tells me she’s proud of me and believes I am “doing a great job”.

Given our current circumstances, it’s not always easy for me to accept Jaiya’s encouragement and [much appreciated] pep talks.

On a recent day, when my facial expression clearly questioned, “How the hell am I doing a great job?!” Jaiya added, “Even when we have challenges, you find a way for us and figure out how to help others, too. Look at all our projects, every one of them came from a challenge we faced and overcame.”

WELL DAMN! The baby is not only watching me, she’s taking queues from my steps!

“The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black woman.” – Malcolm X

YESTERDAY was not a “great job” day. Heartbreak was all over me. The rage and fear I carry from the trauma inflicted on me for simply being an unprotected Black woman in a racially oppressive workplace in a race-hating society was palatable. I struggled to move beyond the moment. I felt hopeless.

When I read Dr. Yanique Redwood’s Nonprofit Quarterly post shared on LinkedIn, “We are also looking on as a Black woman runs for president of the United States of America, knowing what she is up against and will face if and when she wins. Even as we celebrate Black women, it is a dangerous time for Black women.”, my heart sank because I knew she spoke truth.

It is a dangerous time for Black women. Dr. Redwood’s words, framed around Black Women in leadership, were a gut-punch reminder that my ‘strategic’ move to “opt-out” of the “Glass Ceiling” grinder did not protect me; it never could have.

Real talk. It’s my presence and strength that bigoted leaders and peers resent, not merely my education, title, and direct reports.

When a white woman can exert power and privilege to turn my life upside down without anyone questioning or challenging her right to do so, what does the professional path ahead look like for me, a single, 58-year-old Black mom with dependents?

I’m accustomed to facing the challenges that come with culturally incompetent and ignorant Executive Leaders, non-inclusive and unwelcoming Boards of Directors, and entitled and white-privileged team and staff members.

And The Children Will Lead.

TODAY was a new day. I resolved myself to a simple TRUTH . . . if Jaiya Devi can practice GRATITUDE and fight/train/laugh/dance/study/run/sing her way through our current state without feeling sorry for herself, I MUST follow her lead and do the same.

Jai’s watching me. Ancestors are watching me. I will not fail me or them.

After meeting with an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) investigator it was determined I DO have grounds to move forward with a formal complaint citing Racial Discrimination, Pay Discrimination, and Retaliation by Robert Half International.

The process of accountability has begun.

Tonight, I will apply for new roles aligning with my experience and keep taking one step at a time to move forward.

I am thankful for kiddos who, in the face of challenges, continue to PLOW ahead towards the dreams and hopes they deserve. They epitomize courage.

I am thankful I have them to remind me of who I have been, who I am, and who I will be on the OTHER SIDE of this present-day fight for Equity.

Luckie “Damn” Daniels. The girl who, through the toughest fight of her lifetime, sought constant refuge on the stoop of an old meat curing shed in Atlanta and trusted all that is Divine to guide her through.

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY was my “North Star” then (circa 2011) and it is now.

“The present moment is the perfect teacher.“

Thank you, Pema Chödrön, Sister Of The Circle (Jaiya Devi), Justis, and Ancestors for being the teachers this Black woman needs today.

Queen Gritty. | Student of LIFE.